1 year old!

 My sweet girl! I am in disbelief at how quickly this past year has gone and that you are turning ONE today! I have been thinking back over your birth the past few days and it fills me with such joy and also sadness. I remember being so unfamiliar with you- literally a stranger to me- and holding you for the first time and being so scared about you having trauma. I asked your birth mama to borrow her jacket and kept it on you while you were doing skin to skin with me. I secretly recorded her talking about her birth when I went to visit her the evening you were born- I didn't want to leave you alone in the room for a second, but I think she was asking for me, so I went and she was so happy and relived that it all went well and you were healthy. She was laughing and I was so happy to have that video to play her voice for you. But your sweet daddy lost all the pics/vids on my phone from your first two weeks of life, so I don't have it anymore *cry*. We were so exhausted with 4 kiddos haha I don't blame him, it is actually kind of funny- I just wish I had posted more pics on my social media vs. keeping them to myself and treasuring them. I woke up right at 7:21 today, the exact time of your birth <3 Your cousins (Natalie, Ruby, & Alinah) spent the night last night, so Ita is making papusas for lunch and we are having a little party! Ita bought you a special little dress (even though I already had one picked out haha) and a smash cake. She is making your little party happen cuz this tired mama wasn't going to. The holidays were SO busy this year with your Ita coming home. There were so many activities and then my parents moved up to Washington so there was traveling up there. and we are leaving on 1/2/22 for a 3 week trip to Mexico so I am a little busy getting ready for that. NYE is a hard day to have a birthday... but then again, you will always have fireworks and a party on your special day ;) You have also been sick with who knows what for the past few days. Your cry is all raspy, but other than that there are no physical symptoms. You just had really sad eyes and would cry literally anytime I put you down or tried to pass you to someone else. Like wouldn't hardly even nap. It was really sad! And also, my arms and back are super sore and I am really glad you were feeling better last night. You just started really walking last week! You were taking 2 or 3 steps here or there and had been standing on your own for a few weeks, but you just took off and now you are cruising all over- like walking all the way from the living room to a bedroom- 100+ steps. It is amazing! And SO fun! You have the cutest little toddle and I am always torn between just watching and enjoying you or grabbing my phone to try to film because you are my last baby *I think* and I want to be able to remember everything! Also, I apologize in advance that you won't have a ton of photos from your first year on here- I am so so behind on organizing pics. Like I still have over 10,000 to go through sooo sorry. 4 kids has been a LOT. Zeke was a monster toddler and he was only 20 months old when you came home...I think we were a little bit crazy to take on an adoption with only 6 weeks notice hahahah, but the Lord's will was clear here and so we followed where He clearly led. and it has been the most beautiful story of my life. I am so so thankful to get to have you as my daughter and to raise you to know and love the Lord. I am so thankful that Johanna, June, and Ezekiel get you as their sister. You are so full of JOY and bring such a happiness to our family. Your dad and I comment all the time how you are just so happy and we are always asking if our other kids were as fun as you are at this age and maybe we just can't remember or maybe we are romanticizing a bit because you're our last, but I really believe we are enjoying you the most of any of our kids! You say a few words- mama, dada, Booga, ba(ll), Ita, cheese for pictures, and you growl a lot ;) you make car vrooming noises and make the dinosaurs roar (can you tell you have a big brother?). You are obsessed with climbing up and down stairs- at my mom's house they have carpeted stairs and you had free reign and loved it. Our stairs are wood and steep, so we have to be really careful to keep the stairs guards shut. There have already been several times where you are halfway up or down the stairs before we notice and my heart pretty much stops every time. You are a pretty good eater- you love most things you try and actually eat a good amount. We are working on weaning you from bottles and it has been kind of hard. you still wake once a night for a bottle and love yourself a nice bottle while winding down for the night. and then you usually get pretty cranky mid-day and need a nice bottle to settle down. 

Ok now a few weeks later because that is life ;) Your party was very sweet. Grandma Sandee and Aunt Alisa came for a bit and then all of Daddy's side was there. All to celebrate your life- which is so precious! We have been in Mexico for the last little while and you are a pretty great traveler. Your personality is so evident and you are becoming quite the toddler- it is hilarious. You are feisty and stubborn and loudly let us know when you are unhappy about something. This morning, your dad combed your hair out of your face with his fingers and you immediately grunted and combed it back in your face. Stubborn! You won't let us feed you- you want us to put the food down and you do it yourself! We got you a walker to keep you out of Ita's plants and to keep you from scraping your knees too often as a new walker, but you don't love to be put in it because it limits your freedom ha and then you quickly figured out you can push open the screen door in your walker and so we've started to close the door to keep you in and you scream whenever we shut the door haha little diva. Your tummy has been pretty upset- not sure if it is the oil used for foods down here or perhaps the whole milk we have been adding to your formula to try to wean you. but oof you stayed up til almost midnight last night after I had just been bragging on you for sleeping so well away from home. We don't always put you in your carseat down here and you have gotten spoiled quickly and scream when we do. You are very much enjoying having more grown ups to hold you, but still want mommy most of all. It is a nice break from the day to day and it is fun watching you explore and express yourself! 

Anyway, back to you and your life the past year... you sleep in the laundry room ha but it is perfect- it is warm and has built in white noise and is pitch black. You sleep so well in there that we plan to keep you there until you start to climb out of your pack'n'play. You ADORE your siblings. You say "Anna" now and you light up when they come in the room. They adore you too and you are smothered in hugs and kisses until you get mad and they fight over who gets to play with you first thing each morning. You have been awesome about going into the church nursery, which was surprising to me as you are a straight up pandemic baby- even born in 2020 ;) i have really missed having the Freddies playplace, library read aloud times, the gym nursery, etc. to drop babies off in and have a bit of quiet time to get my work done and I was worried you would have a hard time going with strangers, but you are absolutely interested in anything novel and you love all the new toys at church so yay! What else? You have gotten to see your birth mom a lot of times over the past year. For a few weeks there she was coming with us to church so that was fun and she even lived at our house for a couple weeks during a little fiasco with CPS (long story someday we will tell you it all). She really loves you and I am so thankful that we are able to allow her to have a relationship with you and to get to love on her as well. 

You are such a delight and it is so fun watching you coming into your own personality. I am so beyond thankful for your life and to get to be your mama! And I am so so excited for the years to come that I get to love you in all your good, bad, hard, wonderful, exciting...unconditionally! Forever and always, dear girl <3